Nurturing community through the seasons of life

Providing people with a sense of community often means understanding their needs and desires and walking alongside them to create a world that nurtures the essence of who they are. As people grow older, we know that for many, their worlds will become smaller. We strive to adapt to their changing needs so that they can always enjoy a sense of belonging and connection.

It was 25+ years ago when I met Tim. He started attending NER’s Respite program in 1984, gradually moving into one of our long-term homes. He moved into the Allen home and then within a few years moved to the Edgewater home which has truly worked out well for him.

Carla and Tim

Carla Pleasants, who has been employed at Hammer & NER for 36 years, worked with Tim when he attended the Respite program. At that time, Carla was one of the Qualified Developmental Disability Professionals for the program. “Tim was quiet and gentle in his manner and got along well with others which is still true today,” Carla says. He also made close friends with a group of young men and when they got together, the hi-jinks were sure to happen. Good guys versus bad guys, cops and robbers, and any other version of this genre would happen when Tim was with one or more of these young men. “Too often, it was the staff who were the ‘bad guys’ and I for one, was put into ‘jail’ more than once!” Carla says with a laugh.

Tim in his office

Tim is known for loving his “papers” and office work more than any other activity. At Respite, he would spend hours organizing “his office,” in a corner of his bedroom. The staff often found themselves missing paper, clipboards, pens, and pencils when Tim was around. According to Tim, these items were needed for his “office work.” So, Tim would be provided with his own clipboard, paper, pen, and pencil to use while he was at Respite. He continues to have an office at his Edgewater home.

I remember one time at the Respite program I walked into the kitchen/dining room area and Tim was standing there with eyes fixed on another person who was sweeping the floor. In Tim’s mind, it was his job. So, with a quick discussion, staff were able to work things around so that everyone was happy, including Tim, broom in hand.

Diane Mack is another long-term employee with Hammer & NER going back 40+ years. She worked the awake overnight shift until the Respite program closed. “I remember Tim always wanted to have a dill pickle (or dill spears) added to his cold lunches along with a small can of V-8 juice,” she says. Tim has always enjoyed the simple pleasures.

The dancing machine

Tim also loves to dance. His love of music and dancing has always been evident, especially if one observes him at the annual Luau. He feels the music to his core and his body movements prove this. It is as if he is the only person on the floor, just enjoying the moment.

Over the years, I’ve had the pleasure of going on a couple vacations with Tim. We went to Branson, Missouri and another time to San Antonio, Texas. We visited The Alamo, and it was evident that Tim has a true appreciation of people in uniform as he would salute when he felt the need to do so.

It takes a community of people to help shape a person’s direction in life. It is clear it started with Tim’s family. Their gentleness and kindness is embedded in him. They nurtured his needs and wants, which continued with staff at Respite making sure he had the things important to him such as his office space, preferred chores, and spending his leisure time listening to music, dancing, or creating art. Though Tim has slowed down quite a bit, the staff at Edgewater continue to make sure he has the things that are important to him like his office and attending the Luau and other events where he can socialize and dance at his pace.

We hope he will always dance.